Akatsuki Truth or Dare
by bubbleheadash
Summary: The Akatsuki play truth or dare. That's all there is to it really...


"Alright everyone's here now." Leader said. "Deidara! You go first." Deidara smiled. "Itachi! Truth or dare, yeah?" "Dare." Itachi replied. "I dare you to sleep with the leaders daughter, yeah!" Deidara nearly screamed. "My daughter...?" Leader said under his breath. "I already did!" Itachi said. _How can he admit it so freely in front of me? Now I'm mad! _Leader thought. _Leader is going to kill him, yeah. _Deidara thought.

"My turn. Kakuzu. Truth or dare?" Itachi said. "Dare! I'm not afraid! Give me your best shot!" Kakuzu said. _Why does he always choose dare? We all know what Itachi's going to say. _Sasori thought. "I dare you to give all your money to charity." _All my money? Why do they always ask that? I have to find an excuse! _Kakuzu thought. "I used it all to buy perfume for... someone..." Kakuzu said. "Mmm?" Deidara said. "He's lying! He hides his money under his mattress!" Kisame said. "By the looks of it you've made many trips to my mattress!" Kakuzu said. "HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MONEY MISSING FROM YOUR MATTRESS!" Kisame yelled. "I was with him when he bought the perfume. The disgusting scent is still on my cloak." Hidan said. "In that case I'll let you pass. But first I'll check if you really do have money under your mattress. I'll be back in no time so be ready." Itachi said as he was leaving. "Zetsu! Follow him." Leader said. "But I wanna play! Can I pick then go?" White Zetsu asked. "Be fast then go!" Leader said.

"Okay Tobi! Truth or dare?" Black Zetsuasked. "I'm a good boy with nothing to hide so I pick truth!" Tobi said. "Is it true that you smell Deidara's underwear when no one's around?" Zetsu asked. "You stole my underwear! Tobi that's... Augh!" Deidara said. "I... Uh... Don't be mad at me! You should be proud someone like me is smelling your underwear! You should feel important Deidara-sempai!" Tobi said. "Tobi that's really gross. Kakuzu hasn't even done something that gross for money!" Hidan said. "Tobi you have one second to kneel before me and beg for my forgiveness, yeah!" Deidara said. "I bow down to no one." Tobi said in his Madara voice. "Besides... I'm still waiting to smell your fall underwear collection! I really like the boxers with the humping piggies on them!" He said in his Tobi voice. "You're an idiot." Sasori said. "HOW DARE YO STEAL MY UNDERWEAR! DIE!" Deidara shouted while choking Tobi. "Okay I'm satisfied." Zetsu said. "Kakuzu it's your turn. I'm going after Itachi." Tobi was shocked. "What about me? have the right to choose someone!" He said. "Shut up n00b!" Kisame snapped.

"Sasori. Truth or dare?" Kakuzu asked. "Dare." Sasori answered. "Chop Hidan's head off!" Kakuzu said. Sasori stood over and began walking towards Hidan. "Why is it that everytime we play this mother #$%ing game, somebody says that? Leader don't let them do it!" Hidan begged. "You've chopped of his head to many times." Leader said. "Cut something else of." He told them. "The head's the only thing that's fun. I change my mind to truth." Sasori stated. "Who, from the Akatsuki males, would you like to have sex with?" Kakuzu asked. "I've always wanted to see how Kisame is in bed." Sasori answered. "..." was Kisame's response. "Sasori and Kisame sitting in a tree, yeah." Deidara sang.

"Hidan. Truth or dare?" Sasori asked. "Truth. If I say dare you'll ask me to cut something off and I know you're a bunch of fucking perverts." Hidan answered. "Which Akatsuki male do you think has the best body?" Sasori asked. "Zetsu. He's bicolor! That's some awesome shit!" Hidan answered.

"Akatsuki-hime! You've been so quiet! Truth or dare?" Hidan asked. "Truth." she answered. "How many different positions of Kamasutra have you tried with Leader?" Hidan asked. _I had a feeling they'd ask a question about me. _Leader thought. "Which Kamasutra are you talking about?" Akatsuki-hime asked. "The gay Kamsutra of course! That's the only one he knows!" Deidara said. Sasori laughed. "Shut the fuck up! So, how many?" Hidan asked. "All of them. From all the books." Akatsuki-hime answered. "I decided to check up n them so you gys could try them later." Leader said. "What a lame excuse to have sex." Hidan said. Leader was about to say something when Zetsu came back in.

"I brought Itachi back." he said. "Kakuzu didn't have any money." Itachi said. "I saw Itachi doing things with a girl. Like the things I saw Kisame doingwith Deidara." Zetsu said. "Deidara and Kisame?" Sasori asked. Deidara blushed and hid more of his face behind his hair. "That's none of your business." Deidara said. "So Itachi, what did my daughter say?" Leader asked. "She said 'Oh my god!' 'Harder!' 'Yes!' 'Oh!' and 'I love you'. Then she said 'Yeah!' 'Keep going!' 'Almost there!' and then she screamed." Itachi said. "Just like Deidara screams with Kisame." Zetsu added. "That's... my little girl... you'll pay..." Leader stuttered. "She also sad she was pregnant." Zetsu said. Sasori, Hidan, and Kisame gasped. _Leader's going to kill Itachi! _Tobi thought. "Itachi's going to be a father, yeah!" Deidara said. "You'll waste so much money on it." Kakuzu laughed. "That #$%ing#$*%! I'll #$% his #$% out and then obligate him to #$*% with Orochimaru!" Leader yelled. Itachi got down on his knees."Leader, I bow down before you and beg for forgiveness." Itachi said. "I'll forgive you if you pay for the baby's expenses and let him have my clans name instead of yours" Leader said. "Thank you Leader. You're very comprehensive, but no." Itachi said. _What balls! Daring Leader like that. _Sasori thought. "Why would you deny my forgivness?" Leader asked. "Because no oe knows your name."


End file.
